Editor's note: A certain female is going to be showing up a lot in the next several entries, so I'm going to use Zelda Zelazny to differentiate her from all the various Alices that have appeared in past journals.
I've learned something today. I've learned what it means to have one's heart in one's throat. I've heard the expression before, and I've had the feeling before, but I never really connected the two; that is, I've not pondered the expression while in that kind of anxiety.
Tonight at dinner, the phone rang. I've been somewhat anxiously awaiting Zelda's phone call (to say whether or not her sister thinks the thing the family is doing Saturday will interfere with our evening), and I thought it perhaps was her. It wasn't. But still, I was rather nervous for a while there.
I was just re-reading some of my older journal entries (for censoring; I'm uploading tonight) and had some more thoughts on the "willing quarry" thing. (Found in entries 45 and 56.) This thing I have (or may have, or whatever semantic qualifiers you want to throw in) with Zelda doesn't really fall into that category. We're both interested in at least finding out if there's anything to be interested in. At least, I am, and it seemed as though she is as well. So those thoughts only applied to the "friends becoming more" thing. Which is kind of funny, considering that it isn't the most flattering perspective, and how much-touted the "friends before romance" approach is in the "Christian community". Haha. Tons of "quotation marks" there. But what is one to do with such a limited language, so full of nuance and innuendo? Of course, it's just that richness that lets me talk about such things without incredibly long descriptions. I suppose my quotation marks are an indication that I don't mean them to carry along their *full* additional meanings. I suppose I was a little out of line calling the language "limited". It's very rich. Just not rich enough. Ah, well.