Well, I did it. Earlier today I asked the girl's father for permission to ask his daughter (whose name is Alice, by the way) out, and he gave it. After about an hour (in which I purchased the tickets as per the "plan" - which I'll outline in a bit, told myself what a good thing it was that her dad said it was ok, and walked nervously around the block again), I went over and actually asked her. She said yes! It is subject to scheduling approval, since her sister Becky has a thing that day and the family may not be back home in time. But if her attitude was any indication, I've pretty much got a date Saturday night. Whee!
Ok, now, the plan. I should be a little more specific. The original idea was to purchase two tickets to Beauty and the Beast and then say something to the effect of "I've got two tickets to Beauty and the Beast and I was wondering if you'd like to come with me." Actually, that's pretty much verbatim what I said to her; nervousness sort of took away any improvisational skills I may have. What I actually said was more like (and here I'll try to reproduce it in type): "Yeah, um, I've got two tickets to Beauty and the Beast and I was wondering if you'd like to go see it (slight pause until I remember the rest of the line, and that it is somehow critical) - with me."
So that was the original plan. Of course, first I had to get her name. But after that I had to get confidence. So I called friends. And in talking to my friend about my insecurity over this I mentioned that this is really the first time I've ever done this. The second time I've done anything *like* this. The first time was when I asked that girl from high school to the Junior-Senior Classic. Her dad said she was too young. And, after finding out how young she was (about a year younger than I had thought), I agreed with him. If I remember correctly I even apologized. Anyway, that thought was floating around in my head. It bumped into another thing I've heard previously, and I decided to ask her father's permission to ask her out - before I purchased the tickets. That way I could still have them when I asked (which was part of the original plan I was loathe to abandon), but hopefully get a heads up about availability. I'd have hated to find out she was already involved with someone, or that they were going on vacation that weekend, or something, but it would have been even worse if in addition it meant I'd spent the money on the tickets when there wasn't even the possibility that she'd go. Plus it's always good to have the father's approval. In fact, if I explicitly did not have it, I wouldn't have asked her at all. So, after I got his permission, I went home and bought the tickets. Then I talked to Dad about it, and convinced myself that what I had going so far was a good thing, and considered when I should actually ask her out, and how now I practically had to do it (no chickening out after this point) because it would be something of an insult to her father (and to her, though she wouldn't be conscious of it). Then I set out from the house to ask her. I was close to their house when I stopped and studied a robin. Then I walked past their house and looked for the squirrel I'd seen earlier in my walking. Then I walked around the block. All this time I was talking to myself, and the conversation went pretty much like this:
"I shouldn't ask now; they may be in dinner. I'll ask tomorrow. You don't know when they'll be home tomorrow. You have to ask her, ask her now. I'm afraid. I don't get afraid very much. You were afraid then. And then. And then. You've been afraid at least .. and then. At least six times in you're life you've been afraid. Ok, I'm afraid. Lord, please help me. I'm afraid. Here comes the house again. You need to go ask her tonight. They might be eating dinner. I don't want to interrupt dinner. It would be rude and insensitive. I'll go tomorrow. You don't know when they'll be home tomorrow. Knowing you, you'll keep waiting until you can be 'sure' that they're home and you'll never go. Ok, I'll do it tonight." (walking into driveway) "I can't believe I'm doing this. This is the first time in my life I've done this. Or second." (walking along walkway to front door) "I smell food. They're eating dinner. I'll come back tomorrow. You'll do it tonight." (turning to doorknob, then around to leave) "I'll come back tomorrow." (turning around and pressing the doorbell before I can change my mind again) ("lengthy" every-minute-was-an-hour pause) "They're not home. They've gone out to eat. I will go home now. Wait, I hear movement; someone's home. Oh, no! I'm really going to do it! Calm down. Remember, calm. 'I have two tickets…' "
Then the door opened. It was Alice. Actually I think (and thought) that perhaps her father had clued her in to what was happening. She seemed to act that way. I got the line out, and she seemed very happy! She asked when it was, and I told her, and she mentioned her sister's thing but seemed encouragingly optimistic about its noninterference. Then we talked. I was glad of that. I didn't (still don't, really) know her very well, and for all I knew she could have turned out to be a whiny snotty thing. But, no. We had a decently intelligent conversation. I think I avoided hogging the conversation pretty well relative to my normal tendencies. Which I need to work on anyway.
But, the conversation was good, and she seems to be a great girl. One of the risks I ran in choosing her was that she'd be a pretty face, and little more. But it looks like there's much more, and I very much look forward to getting to know all of it.