I had a fairly good conversation last night with Zelda, and she purposed to speak with me again today - it was late, and I shared with her another of my heavy bits. Today I lay in bed (I was up late discussing dreams and science fiction with my roommate) until 11:30, when I woke to eat lunch and go to class. Zelda was online. My first thought was that her classes had been early, and she was online to see me. I was mildly disappointed, because *I* had class. But soon after talking with her I learned that a friend of hers is suddenly (and somewhat mysteriously) in the hospital - she was waiting for another friend to pick her up to visit him. In retrospect, now, I don't really know why she was online. It would be nice to think that she was hoping I would be there, but I rather doubt it.

I of course was immediately concerned, and I shared my concern with God. And I despaired that I did not (and do not; as I write this I am in the class I woke to attend - I skipped lunch on Zelda's behalf) know how to comfort her in this. Now that I think of it, I'm not sure how I could do so even if I were more present - I wanted to put my arm around her, but were I to actually do so I would fear misinterpretation... So I'm not sure what more I could do if I were physically with her. As it was, I expressed my concern, and told her I had prayed (and continued to do so), and began to ask her about her friend. Shortly thereafter, she ceased responding to my messages and signed off - I assume her ride to the hospital arrived. I would have appreciated an indication of that, instead of an abrupt disappearance, though I certainly understand her haste, and do not begrudge it.

The other thing of note in this is her friend. She has only just met him this semester, and her indication of his plight was the eerie phone message, "Don't worry, Zelda; I'll be all right." And this was somewhat saddening to me (even before I learned that he is a relatively new friend), because it indicates a certain closeness - in whatever trouble he was in, she was the one he thought to call - that I - we - do not have. I would almost call my feeling jealousy, except that I felt no ill towards him for having it - only a sadness at my lack.

Also she cried. In class, for a test, today, she was thinking of him and cried. She asked to be excused, and purposed to visit the hospital. I was moved when I learned that, and felt pity for her embarrassment at it. But now that I look on it again, it's a sad reminder, too. She cried for him. Somehow, I doubt Zelda would be so filled with worry and sorrow on my account if anything were to happen to me. Why? Because we are not close. And that saddens me.

I will continue to pray for her, and her friend.

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