Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. What sort of a fool are you? Today, after stopping by their house several - three? - times unsuccessfully (that is, not seeing Zelda), I resolved not to go again (unless I had a specific reason, such as being asked over). So after a few hours I called. She was sorry she hadn't called - she didn't have my number where she was when she would have. [called; that is, by the time she had something to say to me, I was inaccessible]
Why did I call? I was glad to hear her voice, and talk with her again. But, again, I feel I'm being overbearing. And that I don't want.
Before I called, I was thinking, "You don't need to see her, Kevin. It's better if you don't. If you do, you'll -" "But it was the last day I might see her! And I didn't - though I might have - the previous night. Surely -"
Why did I call?
I think, perhaps, maybe, that I'm seeing more clearly, now. I- I don't know. Whatever.
Why am I attracted to her? She's pretty. She's nice. She's interesting. She's intelligent. Why? Why? I hate this.