Ok, first just a little note by the editor; there've been a lot of wimpy entries, and at this point I'd no longer kept to the two-a-day routine. I haven't for some time, either. Well, that having been said...
Wow. Skipped writing this "morning". Man. Well, guess I'm just losing it. I had my week of productivity, and it's time to find what's next. Though I doubt I'll write in this if I don't make myself do it. Ok, maybe drop to just once a day. Most of my entries will be done in the evening (as a result of procrastination), but that's fine; most of the better (read: longer) entries were written at night. Then again, some of the worst (shortest) ones were, as well. Ah, well. We'll see.
Big problems with the girl; she has had some big censored problems. What is perhaps the most sorrowful of the entire situation is how unaffected she claims to be; she says that it's old hat. Now, whether or not it's true that she's not particularly hurt by this happening, it pains me to think that it's something she's become used to. I wanted to kill something. I'm not sure what; it was just that destructive urge that comes in every once in a while.
It just occurred to me that when I was first hearing about it, I felt that big urge to comfort, soothe, and just generally all-around take care of things. I guess I failed to mention it because that happens all too often. Which, I suppose, is the sort of thing to write down. Especially considering the fact that I haven't been writing this thing for years, and any reader hasn't the benefit of the rich background of my experiences. Only partial sarcasm there. Well.
I have no idea what's happening with employment. That company I had an interview with was supposed to call today, but they didn't. I'll call on Monday. I was talking to one of my friends, and she said I should have called today. I told her that I didn't know when they'd be in the office. Which was true. But I wonder why it didn't occur to me to call them anyway; what's the worst I could've gotten? An answering machine, I suppose. Well, there's also the fact that he said he'd call me. Today. I wouldn't want to call before they could. I guess it would feel (on my end) like I didn't trust them. Hm. Trust.
I (rehashing, censoring me) feel obligated to fill in a bit of detail there; I'd left a message showing my interest in their company several weeks earlier. Then, a few days previous to this journal, they called me and set up an interview-like meeting. Note that this was a special setup; I wasn't just one of a group of applicants. I went, and as I was leaving he asked if it was ok to call me tomorrow -- Saturday. So, as much as I understand the "Don't call us, we'll call you" statement/mentality/practicality, it still seems awfully odd that I didn't get the call.
It's really late (or early). Maybe I'll just stay up. I have nothing scheduled tomorrow (except for church); I can nap away the latter half of the day. I told my sister I'd read this Nancy Drew book with the intention of reading it tonight (between 10 and 12) and still haven't started it. I showed her Poe's "The Bells" and read a bit of "The Raven" aloud. But nature called, and I left her to read the last few stanzas on her own.
Funny what you'll write down, when you're writing everything down.
Read about Baha'ism, or some such spelling. Interesting. Sad, too. At least it got me thinking; that's all I can ask of anything, I guess.
They're big on the universal religion thing, and do the whole Jesus-was-a-prophet thing; they call Him the Messiah, and God, but still compare (and equate Him) with Buddha, Muhammad, etc. Even Abraham and Moses. Zoroaster, too. Probably lots of others, but I don't remember many more. Claim to hold the Bible as infallible, but play lots of reinterpretation games. (Which, of course, isn't "reinterpretation", but interpretation in the way the authors must have originally intended; Jesus' resurrection was, of course, spiritual only, not physical). I thought of Thomas, and went to look him up, but my Hebrew-Greek Key Study Bible doesn't have a concordance with people in it, and I guess my NIV Study Bible (which does have it) isn't down here. I guess it doesn't matter; I don't need it to prove my faith to myself anyway (there's plenty in here). Woulda been nice to have a hard physical objective piece to cut them out, though.
Well, there we go. I wasn't looking too hard earlier. John 20:19-28. There's ol' Thomas. v.20: "And when He had said this, He showed them both His hands and His side. The disciples therefore rejoiced when they saw the Lord." v.27-29: "Then He said to Thomas, 'Reach here your finger, and see My hands; and reach here your hand, and put it into My side; and be not unbelieving, but believing.' Thomas answered and said to Him, 'My Lord and my God!' Jesus said to him, 'Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed.'" Reinterpret your way around that one; Jesus' physical resurrection is pretty much attested to there.
Well, what do you know. the End is near. Well, don't worry. I won't go over page this time (though it doesn't really matter, I guess). Goodnight.