Hm. It's a bit late in the afternoon. I can't wait to leave. Stupid body. Let me out… Ai; this is depressing. We'll see. Model, representation, displacement… Ok, I don't need to disguise here; that's what editing is for. I think the eventual public nature of this is, in fact, influencing how I write. Well, maybe. I probably will leave this part in anyway.
My siblings rented movies the other night with their report cards. One of my sisters got some Mary-Kate / Ashley Olsen movie. Pretty cheesy; I feel sorry for those girls. Wonder if they know what they're doing. I guess it doesn't matter; it makes money. I'd put on a Power Ranger suit and make a fool of myself if it paid well enough. Despite the cheesiness of it all, though, it had "romance" in it, and something in me responded with a sort of longing. Funny. I think I should write stuff. If it's that easy to pull out an emotion… Well, we'll see.
Watched a Reading Rainbow about sleep, too. Didn't get too much new information out of it, but it started me thinking. Remembering the necessity of REM sleep, and the idea of LSD, hallucinations, etc. There's got to be something there.
For those of you reading who aren't me, I'll explain: REM sleep is dream sleep, and is necessary for mental health; it's probably the most important part of sleep (for your mind, anyway; the body needs the other parts for the sheer physical maintenance aspects of it all). Under the theory that dreams are the effects of a "backwash" of sorts of your brain (speaking in the context of a neural network "resetting" itself after a degree of input) as it flushes itself chemically to reset initial conditions (to an extent). And, under long periods without sleep, the body actually manufactures LSD. Which is a hallucinogen. So, maybe, certain hallucinogens (or maybe just LSD, it doesn't really matter) force a flush, and [some] hallucinations are actually literal waking dreams.
I'm going to have to go online today and do some research.
On an only sort of related note, it's possible that so called psychic vampirism is actually a bipolar disorder. The symptoms fit. Or maybe some bipolar disorders are psychic vampirism. There was a specific disorder I was thinking of, but I've forgotten. I'll look it up sometime. I do hope to get the whole Merck manual in here eventually. Which means I'll have to change my Literature folder's name to Library, as the Merck manual is hardly literature. It enables me to move the contents of Learning over, though. It's all good.
Today I was going to work on moving this stuff up to the site. Also I will go over what I've already edited to make sure there's nothing there that would allow the people involved from ascertaining their position in it all. Hm. Funny. After my talk about trust, and I want to hide that. Part of me says it's for their own good, and in fact that is my motivation - or, well, at least part of it - for certain issues, like the recurring female, but I have to admit that I'd rather not know some people know I think about them like this.
Another thought on the dream thing. If dreams really are a result of neural housecleaning, what of the practice of remembering dreams? There's at least some conscious effort, there. Which would be sort of counterproductive to the whole idea of doing it all while unconscious. Hm. Is that positive, or negative? It could be disruptive to the restorative aspects, but could lead to quicker and more complete learning. Sort of like triple feedback. And circles are good. Most of the time.