Welcome back. A month until I've got major status. Yay.
The whole class apathy thing is catching up to me; yesterday I skipped a test. My teacher was kind enough to let me try to retake it tomorrow. We also had a good chat about general stuff. It seems I have two courses ahead of me: drop out of college and start working, or put the old nose into the buzzsaw and take it like a hippopotamus and other mangled clichés. Lot of connections came in, though I don't know if it's because we talked so long or if there's a circle intersection coming. Power, sheep, love, all good stuff. No death, though. I suppose that will be soon enough. Or perhaps has already occurred. We'll see. Talking to that girl again sometime soon.
Talked with that professor I like, too. Learned his given name. [name]. Perhaps I will find a name of my own this weekend; I suppose little would surprise me.
I don't think I've ever recalled feeling so… bare. It's not that I'm dry and apathetic; it's more as though I were just empty; an outline of a person. It's sort of strange, because I'm still me. Just void of all… drives, I suppose. Like I'm waiting. At least, that's what I like to think. Perhaps it's just the apathy taking effect at a lower level. Or maybe part of me feeling I've somehow "gotten away" with skipping class because I was given an opportunity to make it up, and the other part beating him down for it (or at least suppressing the gloat). Who knows. We'll see. By Monday, things will be clear.
I have little to type about. I suppose I ought to start putting down the bee story, but I really don't have any motivation to right now. I'm not sure what I feel like doing. Perhaps I am tired, and need to sleep. I did get a small portion last night.
Hm. I shared the mental putty concept with the teacher I talked with today. I commented that usually when you're out, the dreams are good. Perhaps I ought to take a bit of a nap, and study for my test tomorrow afterwards.